Introductory Letter to Brad Blackstone
Subject: Introductory letter
Dear Brad Blackstone,
I am Chan Zheng Da Kevin, a student from your module, Critical Thinking and Communicating-S21. I am writing this letter to formally introduce myself and also to share some reflections about me.
Since young, I have always liked to do activities that are hands-on such as building Lego blocks and servicing my own bicycle. This has led to me taking on studies related to engineering. During my polytechnic years, I took Engineering with Business as my diploma so that I could widen my horizon in the field of engineering while also exploring the options I had in the field of business. After graduating, I felt that I was more interested in the field of engineering, so I decided to pursue further by choosing Mechanical Engineering for my degree.
As for my communication skills, I feel that I am strong and an active listener. I feel that I am able to empathise with the speaker about what he or she is relaying to me and I also find it interesting to know about the opinions of others. It also allows me to better understand an individual. However, I feel that I need to improve my speaking skills as I tend to stutter and hesitate when speaking to an audience. From this module, I hope to gain confidence in speaking so that I can better voice out my opinions to others. I would also like to improve on my language so that I could write better during my time in SIT.
Lastly, I feel my unique selling point is that I have an open and curious mindset. I am always curious about stuff, I like to explore new ideas and concepts. I also like to listen to different points of view so as to improve on a certain idea or thinking. I hope this trait will bring me further into life and also improve me as a person
Regards,
Kevin
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ReplyDeleteI love the good transition that consists of an example which sparked your interest venturing in this field that leads to pursuing an engineering course. Content wise it was short and straightforward with explanations and elaborations, such as the combination of strengths and weakness in the third paragraph that co-relates to each other. In my opinion, you might want to provide additional examples. Language wise, it was indeed a formal letter tone so it sets the mood just right.
ReplyDeleteHi Kevin! Your letter did stated all pointers required. There is a proper flow as well. I have a few pointers that might help you. The letter is a formal one hence it could be better if you were to add "Professor" as a formal salutation instead of just "Brad Blackstone". Next, try to write in shorter sentences as it will certainly reduce any forms of errors which could help your writing. I also tend to connect long sentences and it always contains a form of error where the comma is used wrongly. Other than that, your language use is good and I enjoyed reading your letter!
ReplyDeleteHi kelvin! The letter you had written did clearly explain all the required pointer , but I would like to comment on some parts which might be useful for you.
ReplyDeleteThere is a missing full stop and the ending of the paragraph and the sentence "I am always curious about stuff, I like to explore new ideas and concepts ." maybe the sentence can be change to "I am always curious to explore new ideas and concept" might be sound more smooth as the language use "stuff" sounds weird to me. I enjoyed reading your letter!
Dear Kevin,
ReplyDeleteThis is an informative letter. I appreciate learning about your background, your comm skills and your goals. What you might have done to make this essay have more depth is provide more elaboration. For example, you coukd give an example of when you actually showed empathy to someone. In what situation have you shown curiosity? What did you learn? In short, you could give more **precise** descriptions of actual situations.
One minor hiccup with the overuse of caps is this:
- During my polytechnic years, I took Engineering with Business as my diploma ... > ?
-- After graduating, I felt that I was more interested in the field of engineering, so I decided to pursue further by choosing Mechanical Engineering for ... > ?
An issue with sentence structure is this:
-- I am always curious about stuff, I like to explore new ideas and concepts. > (comma splice) ?
Let's work on these.
I look forward to working with you more this term.
Brad